Join Gina, a new Derma Health Institute client, all this month on her journey through the HCG Ultimate Fat Burning Diet. Learn about her exeriences in her detailed journal on the ups and downs of this extraordinary diet.
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I’m never going to be this weight again.
About a month ago, I took out my winter clothes. After pulling, stretching and squeezing into my jeans, I realized that between the summer bbq’s, the over-the-sink eating and midnight snacks, I had put on about fifteen pounds just in the summer months alone. No wonder I never wanted to put on my bathing suit in public.
I began buying oversized shirts, wearing a lot of sweatpants and putting on anything that was elastic. I found myself going into my husbands’ closet for t-shirts. Usually when I would do this, I was just trying to bum-out at night and be comfy, but now, I actually needed the extra room. My stomach had ballooned out so much that I couldn’t button my jeans if you had offered me a million dollars.
After showering that morning, I took a good look at myself in the mirror. A real good look. You see, I had gotten into a system with myself, ignoring my weight gain. I’d suck in my gut in public, I’d wear black pants that were loose and flowing, I’d concentrate more on my hair and makeup in hopes of distracting the people around me. Anything I could do to convince myself that I wasn’t gaining a pound. As I finished getting ready for my day, I realized that I had begun to softly cry.
Enough.
I’ve never been thin and have always had to carefully watch my weight. Sweets were never the real enemy with me, but carbs and starches became absolute death when trying to reach any weight loss goal. A big bowl of cereal at night, a second helping of potatoes, and we can’t forget the chips and crackers! I stayed away from scales and pretended to gauge myself based on the fit of my clothes. Now, I was the heaviest I’d ever been. That day, I made a commitment to myself that I would never be this weight again.
The days that followed, I realized that I would have to do something immediately. I couldn’t afford liposuction and wasn’t really sure I wanted to go through that type of invasive surgery anyway. I had heard of the HCG diet but was a bit nervous about putting myself on such a low calorie intake. I worried about energy levels, hunger pangs, headaches, and of course, missing my beloved pasta and potatoes (okay, maybe that was my biggest worry). Even though I was nervous about beginning such a stringent diet, I knew that I was at the end of my rope and was determined to do whatever it took to feel good about myself again.
You see, many times the people around us who love us, don’t really see the weight that we ourselves obsess about. The one or two pounds here and there don’t matter to them. My husband has become a saint in this area. I know, beyond any doubt, that he genuinely loves me just the way I am. My kids are the same way. None of them see any reason for me to go on this diet. But I do. And I’m the one who has to love myself first. If dropping 15-20 pounds is going to make me feel good about myself, than so be it.
I’ve realized that a lot of our self-esteem is birthed from our past. I come from a family who loves me, I have friends that are true to me and a marriage that beats them all. However, in the midst of all of this, I realized, growing up, that I was always the one in my circle that was carrying the most weight. I tried to stay physically active and never binged in my eating. I’m not obese. I don’t have an eating disorder and there’s nothing wrong with my thyroid. Friends and family look at me strangely when I express any concern about my weight. “You’re not over-weight!” or “You look good, don’t worry about it!” or how about, “Oh, please, you’re fine!” and my personal favorite, “We love you just the way you are!" I do appreciate their encouragement and sincerely love the fact that they love me. But if only they could see what I’m really hiding underneath this over-sized sweatshirt!
Now thirty-five years old, my weight has settled. I’m carrying around a constant bulge in my waist that conveniently falls over into two or three rolls, and my metabolism feels like it’s gone into permanent hibernation. I exercise about 3 times a week and don’t really see any significant result. I’ve had enough.
After attending the free Derma Health Institute seminar today, I have decided to go ahead with the HCG diet. From what I’ve been reading, this 27 day diet has the results I’m looking for -- and fast. Although I will be saying farewell to my potatoes, my guacamole, my fast food and my good friend spaghetti, I know I’ll be able to do this. I’ll be journaling my experience throughout this next month. I’ll let you know how I’m doing and what I’m feeling. I’ll keep you up to date on the days I feel good and the days where I think I might have to kill someone. I’ve had enough and it’s time to get things started.
You know, I keep looking at myself in the mirror as I get out of the shower each day and I can see what I used to be. It’s there, somewhere underneath the years of complacency and lack of will. It’s there somewhere. I know I can be a healthier weight again. I know that I can feel good about myself again. And hopefully, at the end of all of this… I’ll go shopping!
- Gina
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